Your life.

Something really humbling happened to me a little over a year ago. While my husband was contemplating a career change, we went to a hermitage type retreat place hosted at one of my former marriage and family therapy professor’s home.

What this man and his family does is amazing. You actually stay on their property in your own comfy bungalow which is in view of this family’s home.

While you are there for the weekend, you talk about or address whatever you are needing help with or maybe just needing some additional perspective about. You, or you and your spouse (or family) is free to walk the “grounds”; explore and relax while you wait for your next “session” or meal, which for breakfast and lunch is brought to your door by the beautiful wife in this equation who is as much of, or more a part of this process as her husband.

Then, get this- at night, the meal is served in his home, with his family, around his table.

No distant office for this guy, no plush chairs and secretary handing all of the nitty gritty details so that he can do what “really matters”. No wondering what life at his house is like and if he “practices what he preaches”.

He shares his home.

And the thing is, this is a very gifted PhD. He could be providing therapy in an office instead, much easier, financially lucrative, and private for him- and his family.

But instead, they gives it ALL.

And I’m not saying that everyone should do this- but for this family, what they are sharing is a gift. One of the most profound gifts I have ever received.

And why was I flat on my face, heart hurting humbled?

Because it is clear that he is not in performance mode, proving anything mode; or “I’m going to share my gift with you in a way that protects me and my privacy before I send you on your way mode”- all things that I will confess that I can make my “serving” about.

This family is laid back, fun, they don’t pretend to be perfect, and they are quite comfortable with you seeing exactly who they are.

And that is what blessed me most.

Because, if you met this man, it is highly probable that you would say he was the best therapist you had ever encountered. But, it is the way that he pours it all out- lays it all down. Says, “I’m just going to do what I believe I am to do and I know that this will not be easy, I know that I am letting go of the division between “ministry” and” my life”…. But, I’m making that choice.

Not that he doesn’t have boundaries. There seems to be a true art in having even better and healthier boundaries when people are that close.

But, I think he’s saying, “I know this is what people need”.

And that kind of life. That kind of family. That kind of sacrifice says Jesus to me.

So if you walk through my doors, and share a meal with our family- you may see that we’re not perfect. We’re not. You may have opinions about the way our family does this or that. That’s OK. And that’s not always easy for me because I’ve faced some judgment in my life which has made me feel alone- and made me want to protect myself from the thoughts and opinions of others where it matters most- my home.

But I believe that the sharing of our lives is what matters most. It’s the sacrificing of the “private” and risking the “judgment” so that we can truly learn to love one another.

And for me, that is what we, our friends, our neighborhoods, this world… needs.

Love,

Rachel

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.Romans 12:13

In response to this, I just spent the last couple days at the Parish Hermitage. Eddie Parish is a dear friend and has been a trusted spiritual guide through the years. A Ph. D. in marriage and family therapy from Florida State and a former faculty member in ACU's marriage and family program, he and Judy now run this retreat center between New Orleans and Baton Rouge.

I couldn't have spent a couple better days. The hermitage is located on 24 wooded acres, nestled against a classic Louisiana bayou. The idea is to combine reflection and prayer with nature and relationship. People who go are invited into the Parishes' home each evening for dinner with them and their children.

Though Eddie is a therapist, it doesn't feel like therapy. He and I sat a couple hours each day, visiting and praying while we looked out at the woods and the water. We just talked, tried to pay attention to clues, and sought to envision a future that is deeper. I had plenty of time to read, pray, think, and walk alone.

I don't need to write here about all that came out. That's personal and it's still in process. But I'm very thankful for the experience.

Mike Cope 12-2005

Here is a little something God shared with me while I was here.

Anonymous 2006

• Guidance in living and experiencing Whole Life.

• Through psychotherapy from a Relational perspective of Marriage and Family Therapy.
  Through experiencing the spiritual life with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in the outdoor knowledge of life in nature.
• Through the sphere of Hospitality of sharing evening meals with the Parish family in their house. 
• Through the practice of spiritual disciplines of silence, solitude, study and prayer.
• Through the prayer bathed appointments that are provided by Judy Parish in the respective guest house upon arrival and the occasional sprinkling of gifts during their stay.

• There is no pre-packaged program.  Each individual, couple or family is dealt with uniquely based upon the presenting problems they bring, the desired goals of the stay, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit through the training and experience of Eddie and Judy.  We also hear from many guests that through the evening meal there is the additional benefit of "unscripted modeling" of family interaction and communication that facilitates hope, understanding and love.